Sexual Harassment is in the CTA

As a recently hired employee, I am required to attend a "Sexual Harassment" training course so that I know the different between a good touch and bad touch. My training was scheduled for today, so I head over to the conference room listed in the training notification email, open the door to the windowless conference room, and interrupt what appears to be a important meeting with about 30 people in suits, all staring at me.

Red-faced, I walk over to HR and ask where the Sexual Harassment class is located. They tell me "It's in the CTA." Instead of naming confernce with non-descript names like 17-K, our company uses Chicago landmarks, such as Buckingham Fountain, the Bulls, and the CTA. As I walk past the room where I initially thought our class was held, I notice someone had posted a sign "Sexual Harassment is in the CTA." I'm sure that would be a great advertising slogan for our transit authority.

And what did I learn in our training?

• You can ask a co-worker out, if they don't report to you, or you don't think they will feel uncomfortable by you asking them out.
• Talking about the size of women's breasts or how hung guys are is not appropriate water cooler discussion topics, not matter what you did last night.
• Strip Clubs are not appropriate places for business meetings, even if you invite both sexes and say "I understand if you don't want to come."
• Our company policy prohibits "intentional touching of the intimate areas of another person." If the touch is unintentional (e.g. because of an alcohol induced state), it's okay.

Please let me know if you have any questions. I will be more than happy to determine if any pictures you receive via forwards are sexually inappropriate or not.