You're (not) hired!

Due to the fact my staff person is leaving the company, I have been spending several hours the past few days interviewing candidates as her possible replacement. Based on this eye-opening experience, here are a few of my interviewing tips:

• If you have already left your last job, don't spend time telling me how great your job was when asked "why did you decide to leave your last job." You obviously quit or were fired for a reason.
• Spending the first five minutes of the interview telling me how you were "hot and sweaty" because you were running around downtown looking for a Kinko's to print out your resume right before the interview is not a good way to make a good first impression.
• Future career goals should be more detailed than "whatever the market needs."
• Don't tell me you are looking for "work-life balance" when you worked 9-5, five days a week in your previous job.
• If you are taking a candidate for lunch during an interview, resist all temptation to go to a sushi restaurant. Especially if using chopsticks is not in your skill set. Nothing says class like watching a piece of raw tuna do a mid-air somersault into a bowl of a soy sauce.